Fluorescent Dreams Wax Cylinders - The negative penny

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1st of April, 2008

7:07 - The negative penny

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On March 16, 2008, U. S. Mint director Ed Moy reported that it costs 1.7 cents to mint one penny.

In a national examination of prices, the U. S. mint has noticed that over seventy percent of prices are either an exact multiple of five cents, or one cent lower than a multiple of five cents. In order to reduce the need for pennies, the U. S. mint will produce its first new denomination since 1933.

The new currency will be called the "negative penny" or the "deficent", and its value will be -1 cent. A purchase of $0.99 can be made with a one-dollar bill and one negative penny. A purchase of $4.99 can be made with a five-dollar bill and one negative penny. Every negative penny will remove the need for four pennies.

To simplify distinction between pennies and negative pennies, the negative penny will be zinc-coated copper. To ensure that they leave peoples' pockets, on the obverse side of the negative penny will be a portrait of Richard Nixon, and the reverse will be a picture of the United States Congress.

Citizens' reactions have been mixed. One citizen said, "I know someone who I want to send all my negative pennies and bankrupt him."


Take care, all!

Current Music: Dancing in Chains - aKido
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Comments:

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From:[info]kylet
Date:2008-Apr-1 02:33 pm (UTC)
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I just had to say thank you for being the first person so far to make a post about this "holiday" that was worthwhile XD
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From:[info]chipuni
Date:2008-Apr-1 03:11 pm (UTC)
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Quite welcome!
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From:[info]jethric
Date:2008-Apr-1 03:27 pm (UTC)
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I really hate April Fool's Day. But at least this reads cool. Thank you.
Now... if they day could just be over with. BTW, why not do a story on the origins of April Fool's Day?
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From:[info]chipuni
Date:2008-Apr-1 03:37 pm (UTC)
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I wanted a gentle April Fools post, not a rick-roll.

You're welcome.
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From:[info]merle_
Date:2008-Apr-1 03:28 pm (UTC)
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Sweet! Now we can have alternating current. Put a penny and a negative penny together in the right solution, and the zinc and copper will act as opposite poles. Eventually they will oxidize, but then you reach the core and the current switches polarity. I like it.

And imagine the sitcom hilarity as someone robs a bank, makes it out to the getaway car, drives off, and only then discovers "dang, they only gave me negative pennies!".
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From:[info]chipuni
Date:2008-Apr-1 03:34 pm (UTC)
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Hee! I love the bank robber idea!
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From:[info]zorinlynx
Date:2008-Apr-1 04:59 pm (UTC)
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What the heck? This sounds almost verbatim to an exchange that happened on FurryMUCK not too long ago, which I posted about here:

[public] Siberian says, "We should have a 0-cent coin. Completely wortless,
of course, but still..."
[public] Zorin says, "A negative penny would be more useful for all those
$X.99 prices"
[public] Aisha stares blankly at Z.
[public] Zorin says, "A negative penny is just a penny that's worth -1 cents.
It means that when you have it, you have 1 cent less than when you don't have
it. So if you have $5 and a negative penny in your wallet, you actually have
$4.99, and can pay for $4.99 product with the $5 and negative penny, and come
out even."
[public] Aisha says, "No, you wouldn't"
[public] Aisha says, "You'd be out a penny."
[public] Aisha says, "Wait..."
[public] AISHA SAYS, "OH I SEE"
[public] Zorin says, "No, you're out a negative penny, so you actually up a
penny."
[public] Aisha says, "Hey, that does sound like a good idea."
[public] Cuprohastes says, "Sssh. Let him enjoy it, then we'll send him all
our negative pennies and bankrupt him"


Are these people reading my blog?!
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From:[info]zorinlynx
Date:2008-Apr-1 05:01 pm (UTC)
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Oh wow, now I'm sheepish, you had linked to that very exchange in my quotes file. :)

I thought you had linked to someone else who made the same joke!

*hides behind a bush*
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From:[info]kinkyturtle
Date:2008-Apr-1 06:57 pm (UTC)
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Gotcha!
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From:[info]chipuni
Date:2008-Apr-1 08:22 pm (UTC)
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I came up with the idea independently. But I ran out of things to say about the idea. When I googled for more ideas, I came across your blog. I loved Cupro's comment, and I had to use it. Of course, I linked back to my source (you!)
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From:[info]shockwave77598
Date:2008-Apr-1 05:45 pm (UTC)
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The Bush Administration discovers way to balance the budget

Since every purchase made with an anti-penny creates a savings of 4 real pennies, administration officials revealed plans to print anti-hundred dollar bills. All purchases of items more expensive than 10000$ are now expected to be made in cash, preferabbly with the new 1000$ bills rolling off the press. All purchases are also required to round to the next 900$ figure. Thus a fuel tank that used to cost 800$ now costs 900$, and the anti hundred gets used together with the thousand, netting a savings of 400$ every time this is done. "Why, we'll have that deficit down to nothing in no time!" the president is quoted as saying.
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From:[info]madfilkentist
Date:2008-Apr-1 07:46 pm (UTC)
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I made this proposal years ago.

The negative penny should, of course be made of ... antimony.
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From:[info]chipuni
Date:2008-Apr-1 08:23 pm (UTC)
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*SNORT!*

*applause!*
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From:[info]hilarypoet
Date:2008-Apr-1 09:03 pm (UTC)

and happy April Fools to you too

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How much will it cost to coin the negative penny, oh wise one?
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From:[info]chipuni
Date:2008-Apr-2 02:54 am (UTC)

Re: and happy April Fools to you too

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Errr... uhmmm...

Pay no attention to the man behind the curtain!
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From:[info]wickedladybear
Date:2008-Apr-2 01:27 am (UTC)
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Happy first day of April to you too!

you so rock, did you know?
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From:[info]chipuni
Date:2008-Apr-2 02:53 am (UTC)
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*blush*

Thank you!
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From:[info]kaysho
Date:2008-Apr-9 11:03 pm (UTC)
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Kudos for coming up with one that's better than, "I'm gay." :)
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From:[info]chipuni
Date:2008-Apr-10 12:43 am (UTC)
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Naaah. You gotta stay in the realm of the possible...

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